In Bondage to Time

As a freelance writer, it would seem I have unlimited time on my hands to do things that need to get done or that I want to do, but it seems I have little time to do anything. I enjoy hiking with friends on Sundays when the weather is nice, square dancing on Friday nights and filling in as a substitute on the bowling league on the occasional Tuesday night. But, I have three books in the works, a business I am trying to get off the ground, this blog and, I still need to find a way to make money to keep food on my table and a roof over my head. Not to mention keeping gas in the car.

Finances. Work. Overtime. Books and papers to read. Errands. Shopping. Housework. Doctor appointments. Television to watch. E-mails to answer. Many things to do. No time. Must run. Fight traffic gridlock. See you later, if I can. Got to go, go, go!

Does this list sound familiar? Most people in the world at large have lists like this, or could probably come up with similar lists if given the time. If I were to ask most people out there to make a daily "to-do" list it would probably read pretty much like mine.

Time is not flying. We are. I am convinced that there is some force out there trying to conquer us by overwhelming the world with mundane matters.

The fact of the matter is, though, that we really like to be busy. Most of us hate being idle for fear that something good in life will pass us by or we get depressed because something already has.

But what are we doing to ourselves? What is happening in our relationships with family and friends? We have become time warriors - enslaving ourselves in the world's rat race while rushing to do everything faster and faster. We want faster cars, faster planes (I read recently about a plane that flew nearly 800 miles per hour, making an international flight in five hours), faster trains, faster fast food, more checkout lanes so we can go faster. In that respect, our wishes were met at Wal-Mart, which now has a boatload of check-out stands so you can check yourself out and not have to wait in line (at least not too long). We are trapped in the bondage of busyness.

Remember the promise that technology wizards made to us? At least to those old enough to remember? Cellular telephones, modems, fax machines, laptop computers and similar wonders would make our life easier. They promised us more free time for ourselves and our families. It was a lie. Instead, technology merely extended the boundaries of where and when we work - and these boundaries have moved into our quiet times, weekends, evenings and vacations.

Technology has pushed people to negotiate deals on their car phones, draft memos on portable computers as they jet from city to city, and fax documents from homes and hotels all over the world. Peer pressure from those working longer hours often leaves us no choice but to keep grinding harder and faster with no apparent escape.

In the process, we have forgotten to put people ahead of property. We have given ourselves over in bondage to the frenetic riptides of American society. The world has succeeded in squeezing us into its time pressure-cooker. We run our lives by numbers on clocks and calendars of our creation to keep in step with the world. We steal time to become self-sufficient and independent. And we are paying the price. Then we start perishing. Spent. Burned out. And we have nothing left to give. Then, our society crumbles and our children roam the streets because they want to fill their time.

We are becoming work junkies. We are wealth, power and status oriented. We are directed by busy schedules, deadlines and commitments. We are enchanted by the short-run results while blinding ourselves to the big picture.

Some deal with it better than others, but we all feel it, the drag and bondage of busyness.

What time is it? It is time to stop! Sit down. Think! It is time to decelerate and harness the chaos. Faster is not always better and rushing is addictive. There is a big difference between necessary haste and impatience.

Is the urgent really urgent? Slow down. Do not let the tyranny of the urgent crowd out the important. Step back and see life in phases once again. Day. Night. Eat. Sleep. Work. Quiet time with family. The need for speed and enjoying quality things in life are, quite often, irreconcilable. We need more porch sitters and less television watchers. We need time to dream and nurture visions for the future.

How many hours do you spend worrying about crises that never happen?

Besides organizing our lives into the must dos, should dos and and could dos, we need to ask what is truly important in life.

Barbara Bush said it well in her address in 1990 in Massachusetts at Wellesley College's Commencement:

"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. But you will regret time that you did not spend with your husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. If you have children, they must come first. Our success in this society depends not on what happens in the White House, but what happens inside your house."

The most valuable time is neither taken nor given, it is shared with love and leisure. The failure of a moment like this can lead to a lifetime of regret. Investing quality time into individuals is a priority, even if it means spending more time with less people.